The Elf on the Shelf who Mocks Me

by Lynn on November 30, 2011

I wrote this at 4:30 a.m. while debating whether or not to get up for the third day in a row.  I felt it was best to share.


I love my traditions,

I’ve said so before.

But some “great ideas,”

I’ve learned to abhor.


The Elf on the Shelf,

His cute little face,

Seems to silently mock me,

In his new hiding place.


He knows I won’t remember,

How do I always forget?

Until 4 in the morning,

When I start to fret.


“Oh crap! Did I move him?”

“Where did he hide?”

I lie in bed awake,

My eyes open wide.


You may not speak little Elf,

But I hear what you say,

“Why start a tradition,

That brings angst every day?”


I swear someone told me,

That this would be fun.

If only I could remember,

I’d know who to shun.


At 6 a.m, my reminder,

Comes barreling down the stairs,

“Did you find him?” he questions,

With wide open stares.


“I haven’t, he’s sneaky,”

I always seem to say.

Little does he know, the Elf’s stealthness,

Is limited each day.


The joyful squeals of “I found him!”

And the giggles that follow,

Turns the lack of sleep and frustration,

Into discomfort I can swallow.


Congratulations Elf,

You can stay another night,

The tradition just won’t die,

Even if it really bites.


For those who don’t know the Elf on the Shelf tradition, the idea is a little adopted Elf watches your kids every day and reports back to Santa each night with tales of how good or bad they were. Then he hides somewhere in the house to be found the next day. Please note: my kids’ behaviors have not made any adjustments with his presence making the 4 a.m. reminders of his job not so pleasant.

  • Tracy

    Impressive poem…and more impressive that you wrote it at 4am! I think a lot of people would agree with this (though this tradition is one I decided to pass up).

  • Pamela Wyatt

    Ahhhhhhh – remember how cute an idea that darned elf seemed at first?!?! To get more sleep – do what I do – and let your husband take responsibility for the elf!!! Works at our house!!!! ;)

  • Tara Pagani

    Brilliant! So this year, combining households we had the issue of two elf on a shelf’s and 5 very competitve kids. It was a lengthy discussion of whose shelf would arrive this morning..Andrew or Snowy (he held out till dec 1). So this morning ther kids woke to one elf w a typed note explaining Andrew and Snowy had to help Santa back at the workshop and “Shamus” their new elf was better equipped to watch over 5 kids and report back. So w this new information we were given a typed note back to mail to Santa that asked if they would ever see Snowy and Andrew again and could he handwrite the note next time..oh and PS we would all like an X-box 360…they out number and out smart us everytime…

  • Marisa Frank

    I love your poem. So many of my friends are doing the Elf on a shelf tradition now. I think it is such a cute idea! Although I have not started the tradition myself.

  • Momof3

    I LOVE this–I wrote about this very thing (and sparked a fight that is…well, pretty funny, though I shouldn’t admit to laughing at it!) and would LOVE to post your poem…

    • Lynn

      So glad you enjoyed it–cracked me up too. :) I will have to check out what you wrote, but feel free to share!

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